This might sound completely depressing...

I had a talk with my husband two nights ago and I am still upset. He told me somethings that I suspected, but didn't know.

~He doesn't want me.
~He wishes I was a different mother.
~He wishes I were a different wife.

These things are hard to deal with. I have loved him since we started talking in 99. We were sophomores in high school and both had long term relationships. We had gym class together. I knew we were meant to be. I always thought he felt the same way. Even if he isn't very expressive in his love in the buy her flowers, little surprises kind of way. He says its not that I am unwanted. And he doesn't think its better anywhere else. Her just doesn't think I am what he wants. Well.

I am really not sure how to deal with this. We just got married in February. So if I leave we have to get a divorce. I just don't know what to do. Since I have all this on my mind I couldn't sleep last night. I mean I layed in bed for 30 mins before I decided to just take a bath and read so I could get real life off my mind.

So here is one of my ideas. Now my ideas don't normally work out for the better. I can't make him love me. Even if he says he does love me. Okay here goes.

~get my lisense
~work full time
~get a three bedroom apt...
~move out
~make his ass regret ever saying/thinking those things

I know this is going to take some time. And I am not entirely sure I can actually leave my other half. But the moving out thing could change if he sees that he has made a mistake and makes amends and proves to me that he does really care that he was just being silly. I don't see it actually working. How can I stay with a man who doesn't want me. I can't live in an unrequited love like that.